Friday, November 9, 2007
A Dedication To My Husband Jerry
What an amazing journey we have experienced these last 28 years!!! I can't believe it all! It is all too much for me to really wrap my brain around! I feel like this is all a dream. We are on the threshold of another magnificent chapter in our lives. It is taking us places we never could have imagined. As I sit here just thinking about what is happening to us now, I am struck with a sense of complete and utter awe and amazement. How could God have chosen us for this? I am feeling so unworthy and so ill-equipped for this life that HE has given me, given us.
We started our journey twenty eight years ago "WITHOUT" the LORD as our foundation. We thought we had it all together. We wanted it all, love, happiness, wealth. Oh yeah, and three kids by the time I was 30 years old, all girls preferably! Boys were not looking good to me at that time because as I learned of your childhood behavior, I thought if I had a son like you, he wouldn't make it. I have always had zero tolerance for bratty, undisciplined, rude children. All the stories your family told me about you made me want only girls. Then we were blessed with our precious Melissa after three years of marriage. What a gift of blessing and joy she brought us. Life was good for a while. Your career was progressing, my career was progressing, we had a nice house, a live-in Nanny, a gardener, Melissa was thriving and we were having fun. And then one day, it became clear that we were not a happy family, we were individuals seeking out our own fleshly desires, self-righteous and self-serving and headed to divorce court. We became enemies, we became like every one around us, thinking the grass was greener on the other side. Blaming each other for our unhappiness. And then it happened!
In the process of getting a divorce, the LORD saw fit to rescue us and save us from making that terrible mistake. He removed the scales from our eyes, opened our hearts and we chose to step out in faith and give HIM a try. Since HE invented marriage, created us and brought us together, we decided HE may have a better way. We obviously didn't! I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ, quit my job and became a stay-at-home mom, and intentionally began to study the word of God to learn how to be a better wife, mother and person. You became born again, making major changes in your life, surrendering your life to Jesus Christ and allowing Him to transform you. You too began to intentionally study the word of God and learn how to be a husband, father and better person. Now, I am absolutely NOT saying that we have arrived, or are by any means perfect. We still have so much work to do..so much growing and learning yet to accomplished. But, I have to tell you that I thank God from the bottom of my heart for allowing us to go through all of the trials, pain, suffering, and work that it took to get us where we are today. What a journey....I could have never imagined that after all that we were, all that we did wrong, all of who we still are, that God has chosen to bless us so much. He gave us Jonathan, Ellie, Jeremiah and James, and now, Josiah, Keziah and Keren. What joy, love, blessings and peace He has given us.
Most people in our age bracket and in this season of life are looking forward to the Winnebago to travel the country, to get on a plane or cruise ship to travel the world, to spend all day on the golf course, to be freed from the kids, to have fun, fun, fun; to have the mortgage paid off, and to retire with a huge bank account!! Isn't that what makes people really happy and successful? Isn't that the American Dream and what life is really all about? HA!!! If they only knew what we have discovered!!!!
"Here we are, at the ages we are and we are still having babies!" (Father of the Bride) We do love to travel and the LORD has blessed us with numerous opportunities, mostly through your jobs. We've traveled across country several times and we have visited family and friends all over the country, Mexico and Canada. And now we are going to Ethiopia in a week! You never did learn to play golf even though we do live in the golf state of NC, our mortgage is a long way from payoff, our bank accounts are just about empty, and retirement is not even on the radar! But look what God has done! I have never been more in love with you, I have never been so sure and secure in who I am and in who we are, I have never felt so close to God and I have never experienced such peace and joy and LOVE!
According to the world's standards, we look pretty sad don't we? Oh, but taste and see that the LORD is good! His ways are not our ways! Like you said several years ago, "God doesn't call the equipped, HE equips those He calls". For reasons only He knows, HE chose us out of the pit of hell and decided to give us so much more than we deserve. When we decided almost 18 years ago to surrender our lives and to give HIM full control of ourselves, our marriage, family and future, we never imagined we would have been so blessed as we are today. We can testify to the great Psalm 127:
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat--for he grants sleep to those he loves. Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." Psalm 128, "Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways,.."
As I reflect on who and where we were when we began our journey 28 years ago, I am so amazed at where we are today. We have been blessed so much more than we deserve. I am honored and grateful to be your wife. I am grateful for all the LORD has done in us and continues to do. I THANK GOD FOR YOU! As we are about to embark on a new journey with three more precious children, gifts from God, I am confident with you by my side as we seek together to TRUST GOD and WALK IN HIS WAYS. We are not worthy, we are really not sure what the future holds for us. But we do know Jehovah Jireh, El Shaddai, The LORD of All creation in heaven and earth. HE will provide, HE will guide and HE will be Glorified! Thank you for loving God, me and our precious children. May we both be found faithful as we seek His face and His purpose for our lives together. "I LOVE YOU"