INTRODUCTION TO 'MORE THAN 'I' CAN HANDLE!"

Introduction

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen Ephesians 3:20-21

I am just an ordinary middle-aged woman who loves the Lord Jesus Christ and is striving to live my life for His purpose and His glory.  One day I realized how perfectly my name fits me – Eileen “I lean on the Lord cuz I’m a messed up” Mestas! I am Jerry’s wife and mama to eight beautiful and amazing children – Melissa, Jonathan, Ellie, James, Jeremiah, Josiah, Keren, and Keziah.  I am also grandma to Vaden, Cana, and Callum, and mother-in-law to Randy. I am a sister, daughter, and friend.   But most importantly, I am a sinner saved by grace and a child of the King.

This year, Jerry and I celebrated thirty-three years of marriage, and it has been one wild ride!  Scattered among seasons of incredible blessings have been extremely difficult times, including struggles with infertility, alcohol abuse, infidelity, financial crisis, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness.  At the beginning of our marriage, we were guided by our sinful flesh and not by God’s blueprint, and the consequence of our selfishness was that in 1988, after nine years together, we were separated and headed for divorce.  Praise God that He had other plans for us!  By the Lord’s mercy and divine intervention, we were able to reconcile and turn our lives over to Him.  We learned a lot through that time about trusting God and leaning on Him in times of trouble.  

After dedicating our lives to Jesus Christ and renewing our commitment to one another, Jerry and I were blessed with three children and were living a comfortable, middle class life in Southern California. In 1994, Jerry retired from the Los Angeles Police Department after twenty years of service, and we decided to make a fresh start and move our family to North Carolina.  Jerry took a job as an insurance investigator and we settled down to the business of raising children, serving in the church, and enjoying the laid-back charm of small-town Southern living. Life was good!  Little did we know that the Lord was about to turn our lives upside down and inside out!   First, in 1995 He called us to homeschool our children.  I hadn’t planned on this.  Me?  Homeschool?  What about socialization? How will they get into college? I had all the typical worries and concerns about my qualifications for this new venture, but the Lord was whispering, “Trust Me.” 

Then, in 2003 God convicted us that we were to trust Him for the size of our family and begin a journey to adoption.  Again, doubts filled my mind.  Could I really love an adopted child as much as I loved my three biological children? Could we provide financially for a bigger family the way that we wanted?   The Lord spoke a little louder, “Trust Me.”    In 2004, we suddenly found ourselves unemployed.  Jerry found temporary employment here and there, but he ended up working only three of the next seven years.  We had added two new babies to the family and my aging parents had recently moved into our home as well.  Our savings account was quickly wiped out and I found myself lying wide awake in bed at night, arguing with God. “Where are you?  Why would you do this to us?  What if we lose our house?”  Over and over again, I felt the Lord’s presence and heard his reassuring voice saying, “Trust Me.”   Unbelievably, in the midst of this time, the Lord seemed to be calling us to grow our family AGAIN, this time through international adoption.  Now, this didn’t make any sense at all!  I was 48 years old and Jerry was pushing 55!  We were too old!  Besides, international adoption is very expensive, and we had NO MONEY!  We already had five children, Jerry had only just recently started a new job, and we had no savings!   What in the world?  Were we insane? I’m sure some people thought so (and probably still do!).   But once again, the Lord spoke to our hearts with these words, “Trust Me.” 

There is a saying that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Well, I know that isn’t true! God says he will not let us be tempted more than we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13) but it does not say we will be able to handle everything that happens in life on our own. The Lord has definitely given me way more than I can handle – on my own.  The truth is that I would be a basket-case were it not for the One who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)   It is the power of the Holy Spirit and His word that give me the ability to handle everything on my plate.  My loving, heavenly Father arms me with strength (2 Samuel 22:33) to accomplish His will on a minute by minute basis. His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

The Bible is full of stories about people who were called to do things they couldn’t handle. Moses was called to ask mighty Pharaoh to grant freedom to all his Israelite slaves, but he begged God to find someone else because he didn’t feel equal to the task.  Joshua was called to defeat the great walled city of Jericho by marching his army in circles around it while the people standing on the walls laughed. Gideon was called to lead the Israelites against the much bigger and stronger Midianite army, and he threw out a fleece, not once but twice, to be sure that he wasn’t hearing God incorrectly. Jesus’s disciples were instructed to feed a hungry crowd of 5000 people with a measly two loaves of bread and seven fish and they tried to convince him to send the people elsewhere. But in each case, God’s plan was greater than what man could see from his limited perspective. It is when God calls us to do things that we know we cannot handle that He has the opportunity to show us his incredible love, mercy, grace, and mighty power.  And in those times, we have the opportunity to grow in faith and we fall even deeper in love with Him. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

The Lord has given me a story to tell about the miraculous signs, wonders, and provision our family experienced when we began to listen, trust, and obey His voice, even when it didn’t make sense.  I am blessed with more than I deserve; more children, more joy, more love, more happiness, and more faith.  I pray that tHIS story will encourage you to be faithful to listen, trust, and obey whatever God is calling you to do in your life.  There is a saying – God doesn’t call the equipped, but He equips those He calls – and I do believe that!   It is only by His will that I write this book of testimony for His purpose and His glory.   I have come to understand that my life is not my own. It is not about me! It is truly more than “I” can handle which is why I have bowed my knee and surrendered my life to the Almighty God who never gives me more than HE can handle! 

OUR BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!

 AAAAANNNNNNDDDDDD  NOW AVAILABLE!!!!!!!

Our book "MORE THAN "I" CAN HANDLE!" is shipping from our website www.morethanicanhandle.com and also on Amazon! All books purchased on our website will be autographed with a specific prayer for each recipient by name. I don't take lightly the sacrifice and time invested by each person who buys it and I am forever grateful to each of you. I have great hopes that you will be inspired, encouraged and blessed.

THIS story is written by the Lord,  I am merely the story teller. He has intentionally orchestrated every detail of every adventure with many surprising miracles along the journey. The story has become so eventful, exciting and amazing that it turned into a speaking ministry and now a book! I believe with all of my being the Lord told me to write it, HE sent the publisher to me to publish it, and now HE will intentionally market it and get it get it into the hands of those he wants to read it! It's all HIS!

As the reader, you will travel on a journey through every emotion; you will laugh, you will cry, you will question and you will gain insight on what the scriptures have taught me on how to handle many of life's experiences. I pray everyone will be encouraged and challenged to walk by faith and trust the Lord in what ever situation life may be giving you. This is not just a story about adoption, it is so much bigger than we all realized! If you have been following our blog over the years, you may still want to purchase the book because you will find a lot more details and stories that I have never shared before. 

Reviews just in:

-- AWESOME BOOK about a family I LOVE and their adoptions....and the miraculous throughout....... Definitely worth the read...it's a cry and laugh book........ my favorite!! It's even better if you know or have seen Eileen speak...because you automatically read it in her voice with her expression..... BONUS!
.....Carolyn Twietmeyer

--I have known Eileen and Jerry for more than 20 years. Although I haven't seen her in a long time, after reading her book I felt I was living it with her. This book is so inspirational that even if you are not a religious or spiritual person, it certainly makes you think. I have always believed in God and know He is an all knowing and forgiving God and Eileen has made this book without a doubt her "miracle" testament and can only be done in Eileen's voice. This book will lift you, make you cry, and laugh. I wish her and her loving family all the wonders of the world. Please read this book.. It's amazing.... Terry Impastato

--Eileen, it's been a year since you came to the "mountain" in Arkansas and shared the testimony that God used to change our life so completely. The day that we heard you share this story was the day our hearts were opened miraculously to adoption...and we are in our mid 40's, too. I'm almost half way through your book now.....if only I hadn't needed to sleep last night I would have finished it by now! ha! But, I am enjoying it immensely and am so happy to have the copy in my hands now. I read a lot of books and this one is absolutely riveting...great job! Glory to God for what He has done. ♥♥♥ Rhonda Drain

--Have tissues on hand! Cried thru every chapter so far.....Joanne Page

--The second time in a week that I get up to your story being first on my news feed! Eileen, there are no words to tell you how excited and happy for you I am! And just to think of all the little lives who will be impacted b/c of you. May God continue to bless and guide you on this glorious journey! xoxoxox.... Darlene Lowe

I got the book last night around 7pm, and stayed up until I had finished it last night.  IT WAS AWESOME! By far, my favorite description of you and Jerry is the airport scene where the man gives an honest account of what it is to meet Eye Lean and then to love her.  As I read your book, the tears just streamed down my face through many parts. I love you for writing this book (and many other reasons!) because I truly feel that people need to SEE these divine timelines of adoptions. I want to live boldly in every matter, trusting Christ to work out the details of His call. Thank you again for this book..... Missy
 

If you have been following our blog over the years you may still want to purchase our book because you will find a lot more details and stories that I have never shared before.  

 

It will also be available by request at Barnes & Noble, CBD and most Christian Bookstores within a few weeks.  

I pray reading tHIS story will encourage you in faith to trust and obey the Lord Jesus Christ on the journey HE has for you and your family.  May you be richly blessed and thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to follow along with us. Please leave comments or reviews here on the blog and let me know what you think of the book! 

THEY ARE ENGAGED!

What a "GLORIOUS DAY!" Mr. Jonathan Micke proposed to MY SWEET Ellie Mestas and included all of us in his very detailed,well planned, creative, personal, thoughtful, intentional Christ Centered all day long proposal ceremony. He is one very special young man who has been blessed with one very special young lady who said, "YES". We are overflowing with joy as we celebrate and SEE the Lord at work in His precious children. This fairytale romance has HIS name written all over it! God is soooooo good! Welcome to the family Jonathan Micke and the Natalie Micke Crockett, Tamara Katsacos family!

THE LORD OPENS AND CLOSES DOORS!

Pastor Ted Rivera preached Revelation 3:7-13 this past Sunday and I was blessed as usual. I was reminded of some things through the following verses:

 "These are the words of Him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What He opens no one can shut, and what He shuts, no one can open. I KNOW YOUR DEEDS.  SEE, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches." Revelation 3:7, 8, & 13

Throughout my life, the Lord has graciously spoken to me with specific details of doors He has opened for me to walk through and then in His time, he specifically closed them. He has shown me so clearly that I HAVE LITTLE STRENGTH! Hence the title of my book, "More Than "I" Can Handle!" (soon to be released in His time, when He opens that door!
 
 Here is one of the things He reminded me of!

Twenty two years ago, I had just given birth to my Jonathan (BJ). I was praying about how to breastfeed him with modesty while maintaining my very busy life. I was taking Melissa, 7 yrs old, to school events, ballet class, and just living a very busy life all the time. I did not want to supplement with formula and a bottle when I was out in public. I am a champion advocate of  100 % breastfeeding which was not encouraged in that day.  It never made sense to me that God created women with the ability to feed their babies the perfect and most nutritional milk, but the culture declared that the better choice was an imitation man made substitute. Formula companies even claim it is  not as good, or equal to the nutritional values of breast milk, yet the majority of women choose not to breastfeed. Go figure?? It just makes sense that since God created everything He is the expert and we should do everything the way he designed it to be!  As was common practice for the those who did breastfeed,  I was not comfortable going into unsanitary bathrooms, or having to excuse myself from everything to hide somewhere to feed my baby.

When my BJ was just a few months old, the Lord gave me a very detailed dream with specific dimensions to make the "Can't -a - Peek tm Nursing Canopy" to breastfeed in public with privacy.  I immediately got up and wrote it all down on the pad beside my bed. The next day, I went to the store, bought the supplies and made three of them right away! He then gave me the name of a woman at my church of 600 plus people,"Allison Peirson",  and told me she would help me mass produce them.  I found Allison Pierson that Sunday, who I didn't even know and had never spoken to before. I introduced myself to her saying, "The Lord told me to talk to you about helping me with something He told me to make."  When I pulled out my sample nursing canopy, the drawing and described it to her she looked at me with curiosity and said, "Wow, this looks interesting. Did you know I have a degree in fashion design?" I was shocked and almost fell over because I had no idea! We had never spoken before and honestly didn't know a thing about each other. She too just had a baby boy Sean, and was breastfeeding, so I gave her one of the nursing covers I had made to sample.  After using it a few days, she called me with great excitement telling me how blessed she was and what a positive impact it had on her nursing experience. She was my first satisfied customer and was absolutely sold on the idea!  As the Lord would have it, and the way He commonly works, her husband has a Masters Degree in Marketing and was also on board with helping us start our own manufacturing company for the purpose of blessing and promoting women to breast feed their babies! Within a few weeks, "Baby Essentials was birthed and I filed for a patent that was approved. For  twelve years, we became the best of friends while making and distributing thousands of "Can't-a- Peek tm Nursing Canopies" via the "One Step Ahead Catalog" and 100's of retail outlets in the USA, Canada, Australia, and Europe. While Jerry and I were eating lunch at Denny's one afternoon, he came up with the product name because "you can't a peek while the baby eats! My partner was in charge of the manufacturing and I was in charge of business and sales. Even my parents, brother and sister-in-law, and Melissa helped us package them on our dining room table. It was really a family business and we loved it. The Lord clearly opened the door to this season in my life. When President Clinton shut down the manufacturing industry in the USA, it was evident that in order to stay in business,  we had to move our manufacturing to China, or Mexico to remain competitive. It was then we felt the Lord telling us it was time to shut the door!

In spite closing down almost twelve years ago, I am absolutely in awe that I continue to SEE women using my nursing cover still today! My patent expired as is the law after sixteen years, but they are still being manufactured today by another company who has copied it.  I have been so blessed to see them being used throughout my travels in recent years and days. I have seen women using it on the plane, at conferences, in churches, at Disney World, in restaurants, etc. I was shocked to hear this week that Ellie's new beau, Jonathan's sisters have both recently used it as well.What a joy to know it is a blessing to so many new mom's for so many years.

I share this testimony only to boast in the Lord and His goodness of how He opens and shuts the doors of opportunity to fulfill His purpose in our lives! When He gives us an assignment, or calling, we must listen, obey and trust Him as we walk through each journey because we never know when he is going to shut that door. We often think if a door closes in our lives that it is a failure, or we did something wrong. But, as I study the scriptures and live my life, I have realized that like the change of seasons in a year, so does He takes us through different seasons in our lives.  We are to be about His business in all seasons of our lives seeking to bring glory and honor to Him!

When I think back over my life I can SEE how He clearly used this experience to prepare me for the upcoming assignments that only He could have orchestrated. Some of the new doors  He opened include   homeschooling, adoption, parenting eight children, being a grand mother, Kolfe Mama Ministry, our journey to Solomon,  and now author and public speaker. The older I get the more I realize life keeps getting more exciting.

So may I encourage you to have an ear to listen to His call, and a heart to obey and trust Him to walk through the doors He has opened for you while you still have the chance. Do not be afraid, be strong, courageous and faithful, even unto death.

"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is, and is to come." Revelation 4:8

Patent US5652958 - Nursing canopy for use by a nursing mother ...

www.google.com/patents/US5652958Share

Go to Google Patents Home ... for use by a nursing mother. Eileen F. Farrell-Mestas ... Cited Patent, Filing date, Issue date, Original Assignee, Title. US4631754 ...


To See My Nursing Canopy

WHEN GOD WRITES YOUR CURRICULUM!

My regular evening routine consists of planning and communicating to the Little's what tomorrow's agenda will look like. Last night it went something like this: "Now tomorrow remember, you wake up, make your beds, empty all trash cans, put away all laundry, (which I fold every evening for them to distribute in the morning) get dressed, brush your teeth,  then we go downstairs, bringing any dirty laundry to the laundry room, I put the wash on, you empty the dishwasher,  we make breakfast, set the table, eat and clean up  the kitchen and then it's back to the school books!"  We are getting back to school after a wonderful Christmas break and they all got so excited! The twinettes even got their books out before bed and wanted to start on them right away.  I reminded them it was bedtime, but assured them we would work on them tomorrow, since I had no plans to leave the house!

So today, they did everything they were supposed to and while we were all at the breakfast table eating, I got my phone to check for an email from our publisher. We are anxiously awaiting to hear from him with the release date for our book. There was no word from him yet, but, I got an email from my dear Sistah Jodi Jackson Tucker. Knowing they are in the process of adopting Kato Fred from Uganda, whom they discovered was left behind after they adopted his sister a few years ago, I opened it immediately. We are on the front lines praying for them, so I read it out loud to everyone.  Here is what it said:

 "Tuckers are heading to Uganda!"

 

Hello Faithful Friends and Family,

We just wanted to update you that we are planning to leave for Uganda the first week in February for court! We could not be more excited to go see our son and begin to get to know him.  Here are a few things we have been told about him already:

He is quiet (praise the Lord!  There is enough noise around here already...)

He is very funny once you get to know him.

He is extremely compassionate and will do anything for someone he loves.

He loves animals.

His favorite subjects in school are physics and chemistry (WHAT - oh dear, thank goodness my husband is a Chemical Engineer).

This is what he wrote about himself on some school paperwork when asked why he is a Christian:  

"In Romans 10-11, Jesus tells us that whoever believes in God will never be disappointed.  Therefore, I choose God, who never disappoints."  Fred, you will NOT be disappointed!!!!

Please be in prayer for us as we have so much to prepare.  

We need an additional $5500 to cover the travel costs of the trip.  We are completely in faith that God is going to provide this and we are not going to have to go into debt to complete this process.  WE HAVE 3 WEEKS TO RAISE THIS MONEY.

Some of you have already been extremely generous is supporting us and we could not be more grateful.  God bless you.

Here is the link where anyone can make a tax deductible donation.  Please help us spread the word to anyone that might feel moved to support us.  I have also posted this on Facebook.

http://adopttogether.org/thetuckers/?fb_action_ids=3918829251003&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=246965925417366

Finally, we are thrilled to tell you that Olivia will be going with us on the trip!  She has been saving her waitressing money for quite a while, and recently decided to use it to buy her own ticket to Uganda.  As a future professional photographer, she will use this trip to build her portfolio.  We are so excited she can be part of this journey!  

we love you all,

Jodi

p.s.  Attached is a photo of Fred with his sister, Agnes, in 2009.  I actually took this photo...so glad I have it now that God has revealed His plan!!!

DSC_0396 - Copy.JPG 1104K   View   Share   Download

Well, a few months ago, we started a new program with our Little's. I gave them each a large manila envelope with their names on it and told them it was time to learn about how to handle money.  I decided it was time to be intentional about teaching them about responsibilities with their own money. They each have their own 8x10 envelope to decorate and maintain. We put them  in the kitchen file basket to make them easily accessible.They have just started to get a small allowance for doing chores and the tooth fairy has been making regular visits these days! They also had some birthday gift money stashed in a drawer that is now in the envelope. We talk about being good stewards of what they have been given and to be wise with it.  For the first time, they used their own money to buy Christmas gifts this year.Then I told them they need to think about their future, like saving to buy a car some day, or for any future purchases they may want to make. So, for weeks now they find coins, or get a dollar from Grama for helping her with something and they run to put it in their envelopes. Well today, immediately after reading Jodi's email,  everyone wanted to SEE the photo of Fred. Within seconds, Jimmy said: "Hey mom, can we give them some money?" My response; "Sure Jimmy, that would be a great idea." He immediately got up and ran to get his money envelope and everyone else jumped up right behind him. We suddenly had chaos of coins and money being strewn all over the table. I suggested they each count out their money and determine how much they wanted to give. I was not going to make any decisions for them. They were so excited and started to talk amongst themselves. I heard Kezzie say; "Toys is not important like Fred in the orphanage." Jeremiah, "Yeah, we can get more money to save up for our cars later!" Jimmy: " I am going to give them half of everything I have." Then he proceeded to "do the math and got it right!" Keren and Jeremiah agreed to do the same. Josiah decided to give 75% of his money and then Kezzie being quiet and just watching them all said, "I am giving him ALL OF MINE!" I stood there at the table just in awe as these five "USED TO BE ORPHANS" were counting their money to help pay for a boy in an orphanage in Uganda to be rescued by his new family! As they were putting their money into the new smaller envelopes I handed out, Kezzie ran to the supply cabinet and returned with heart shaped stickers telling her siblings to decorate them with the hearts she found saying; "That way they will know we love them." She also drew hearts all over it. They had $92.50 total in their envelopes! By this time, Jerry and I were just watching in awe. He turned to me and said: "We have to give too!" I immediately agreed and then he asked me what number came to me. We both agreed on giving a certain amount. When I asked him if we even had that much to give he responded, "No, but if we don't give even when it hurts then we have no faith!" So, I turned to the kids and asked them if they wanted to take the money to the Tuckers right now, instead of heading to the books. They unanimously jumped up with joy and started for the coat closet. We quickly got our things together and headed out to Durham to make our special delivery. I didn't call in advance because I knew my sister would feel obligated to pull out the vacuum, or maybe even rearrange her beautiful furniture or something. Even though her house is always immaculate, I seem to have that effect on people because of my "clean freak reputation" and I hate it. I just wanted to show up, drop off the money and leave without interfering with her day! It was a thirty minutes drive and while listening to worship music, the kids were giggling and so excited. Half way there Kezzie said, "Mama, we made God really happy today because we gave our money to help Fred get out of the orphanage didn't we?" My response with tears and choking up, "You guys sure did Kezzie, God is smiling down on all of you right now!" We got to their house and the kids literally were jumping out of the door before I took the key out of the ignition. When they rang the bell, they were just gitty. The Tuckers were "SHOCKED" to see the Littles' on their doorstep. In fact, when Jodi asked Jerry who was there he said, "It's the Little's, the Mestas Little's!" To which she murmured, "Oh my, it couldn't be them, it must be the neighbor kids, he thinks all kids look alike!" They invited us in and the kids couldn't wait for them to open all the envelopes. They were overjoyed!! Jodi was actually painting Fred's room when we got there and invited them upstairs to see it. They were so excited to see the preparations being made for him. We then enjoyed an unexpected  afternoon visit with a cup of tea, playing with baby dolls and Lego's, jumping on the trampoline and then had to get on the road. Before we left, we sat in the driveway and they each prayed over the Tucker home for the Lord's protection, provision and blessings as they head out to Uganda to bring home their new son! Needless to say, today's curriculum at Mestas Christian Academy, was not the one I had planned out last night! I felt led to share today's adventure with you because I SEE GOD and hope you do too! When I started homeschooling seventeen years ago, I was very rigid and controlling, making sure we worked on academics every day and often missed out enjoying life. Then, as time went on and I grew in my faith and wisdom of the Word, I  began realizing I am not in control of my days but the Lord is. I began to ask HIM to show me what HE wanted me to teach the kids and how we should schedule each day. I often say, "I used to do academics and squeeze life in, but now I do life and squeeze academics in. You see, education/school is not just what happens in the classroom, or in the books, but more importantly, it's what we do with our lives, time, resources and how we nurture their hearts and minds. Today, I had plans not to leave the house and to just work on academics, but the Lord had other plans!  My children heard a cry for help, and answered the call with the resources and time they had. Today, they heard a whisper from the Lord himself, to act in faith and compassion on behalf of a child who is exactly in the same situation they once were. My prayer has always been, and continues to be, that the Lord will use their/our lives for HIS purpose and HIS glory and that they/we will be a voice for the ORPHAN'S still left behind! May I please ask you to also step out in faith and be about the Lord's business today. Will you please give what you can to the Tucker family right now? They have 3 weeks to raise the rest of the funds to bring this precious boy home where he is already loved, and will be trained to know the one true God, Jesus Christ! "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  Proverbs 16:9  "Whoever has the world's goods and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?  Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue but in deed and truth."  1 John 3:17,18

BOOK RELEASE DATE -- JANUARY 2013

For those of you who are patiently waiting for our book, the publisher sent an email saying it should be released this month. I know this has been dragging on since August 2012 and I am sorry. However, I am confident the Lord will release it in HIS perfect time. This is sure to be an exciting new year and we look forward to the great things HE has done and will continue to do! Happy New Year 2013!

Please know we will expedite every book order as soon as they come in. Blessings to all of you who are gracious to support tHIS story and if you would like to pre-order your copy please go to the website,
  "More Than 'I' Can Handle!" 

In HIS TIMING & CARE,

With Love,

Eileen

RESPONSE TO COURTSHIP COMMENTS

I am responding to several great comments and questions to my previous post on our courtship policy. I am honored to share my thoughts and convictions on this subject. First of all, this decision has come about only after many years of studying the Word of God, making mistakes, and earnestly asking for wisdom to parent my children in a manner worthy of His praise. He has and is continuing to do a work in me and my family as we seek His will in all things. We have been very blessed to have established a relationship with our children from the beginning of being very involved in each other’s lives. Because we are a home school family, we have really done "life together". We have always included them in all of our decisions and respect and cherish their input, wisdom, desires and prayers. I have learned God often speaks to me through my children and has intentionally given each one of them to me/us for His greater purpose of doing a work in us! They have been vital in all of our decisions throughout their lives; we heeded their input and advice to adopt, move to a new location, job search, vacation choices, major purchases, family crisis, family relationships, and choices for dinner, social events, etc. etc. Our family motto is: "WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHA!" I am a very transparent communicator and my and Jerry's heart’s desire is always to serve our children with love, respect and encourage them in truth and righteousness. While balancing all of this with discipline and being the authority in their lives, they know we would never do anything out of selfish gain, or to prevent them from being in the Lord's will. We pray and seek the Lord's wisdom and guidance in everything. The Holy Spirit is very much alive and communicates well in our family! We also trust our children and know they have standards, convictions and spiritual guidance for making their own decisions. We let them make their own choices that either teaches them a consequence or a blessing. We are born again Christians who always pray for each other, have studied His precepts together and encourage each other to always seek to be in the Lord's will and not our own.

This courtship process is ultimately led by our children who are free to make their own decisions and choices throughout this process but we are the more experienced ones who have much wisdom and counsel to contribute. We have had several prospects over the years that never made it past the phone call to Jerry. This was sometimes his decision based on knowing his children and their desires well, and sometimes it was the choice of the child in question. On several occasions, when approached directly by someone, they have chosen to immediately redirect them to speak to their father first. They have a choice and free will. By being the first line of contact and leading the courtship process, there is automatically a hedge of protection and authority established. With Jerry being the first line of defense, he is in his rightful place of authority as designed by the Lord! The Lord teaches us to be in submission to authority with respect and grace and this is a perfect example of that. The definition of authority is not a dictatorship but rather an understanding of someone with experience in the position to make decisions for the purpose of good and prosperity for all. Our children trust their father and know he adores them! He is a wonderful father who honestly would give his life for them. They all have him wrapped around their finger...just ask them! This position of authority has given each of our children the knowledge and truth of feeling love, security and safety as well. They have all said it was a relief to not have to hurt someone’s feelings, or leave room for doubt. It is a blessing to know your father has your back and will protect you! It is also profitable to protect the caller so that they will understand we are very intentional about marriage and will not waste their time or mess with their heart unnecessarily. We are seeking to serve and protect all people involved with love and respect!

If someone does get past the phone call, we immediately start the one-on-one questions and there is no dating or spending time alone yet! We immediately schedule the meetings around the table to begin discussing the questions. In addition to the questions, we do a background investigation, (Jerry is a Private Investigator and retired LAPD!), and we also check references and actually talk to other people who know this person. The question session is a family affair. All older siblings are involved in the process and are free to participate as well. Even my son-in-law submitted 27 questions that were incorporated in the 256. I think that says a lot since we did this same thing with him. He brought some of the same questions to the table that we asked him six years ago in addition to new ones of his own. All of our children have decided that they want input from every family member in this process. I admit this not normal in our culture and it is overwhelming, but this is the decision of each member of our family. Even Grandma has her questions and input! So, the person who "comes a courting" one of our kids, gets all of us in his/her face from day one! As we discuss the questions, it is really a fellowship time where we share our stories, values, traditions, morals and desires for our future family legacy! We give our answers only after the prospective courter does first! The questions are designed for detailed information and we do not accept one or two word answers. It has been wonderful and entertaining to hear stories that automatically incorporate information about family relationships, friends, etc. etc. as we delve into each question. It is also apparent in their answers what they know about scripture and how they live it out, or not. We are all either bearing fruit in our lives or not. Scripture says you will know them by their fruit! When someone speaks, their language is either seasoned with the Word and the Spirit or not. It is always possible for people to lie, but in this case, it is very hard to fake it. The questions are very detailed, personal and hard to script without it being obvious. There are several of us at the table that are intentionally watching body language, hesitation and listening to every word. This also gives that person the opportunity to know all of us at the same time and then decide if he/she wants to become a member of the "Messed Up Mestas Family" or not! When all the questions are completed, we all share our input and then the decision is made by both parties. If one of them does not have peace about moving forward toward marriage, then we end the relationship as friends and brothers/sisters in Christ. It is then obvious the Lord has someone else in mind for each of them and there is no need to have anger or resentment toward each other. We can part as friends and wish each other well.

We all agree there is no one perfect, no not one! We are all sinners saved by grace and we all have baggage. We don't make this decision based on the answers alone, but collectively with prayer, and input from all of us, the Holy Spirit and the Lord. We are the last ones who can cast the first stone on anyone else. Wait until you read our book "More Than 'I' Can Handle" and you'll understand us better. We are merely trying to navigate and expedite this process of seeking the compatible and divinely chosen spouse for our children with humility, respect, wisdom and to honor the Lord Jesus Christ in the process. Our desire is to prevent each one from getting their hearts attached prematurely only to be torn apart if it becomes apparent that the relationship is going nowhere. Just look at our culture and the history of the normal dating process. It is a miserable failure! I cannot stand by and tolerate this any longer. I have always encouraged my children to learn from personal experience and from watching others and make better choices! Do what it takes to walk the higher road and to glorify the Lord in everything you do. It's a matter of being in a genuine love relationship with the Lord so much that we desire righteousness and trust His ways are the best. He tells us to be holy for He is holy. It's like when you find that one special person that you fall in love with and you want to do everything you can to make them happy. You want to spend every moment and the rest of your life with them! Well, God created marriage and He has written the guidelines on how to be blessed by it if we choose to follow his ways and not the world's way. We love Him enough to trust Him and walk by faith on this journey as a form of worship and love for Him. We are created by Him, for Him and He already knows whom He has created for each of us. It just makes sense to be intentional and include Him and all of our family on this journey.


As far as legalism is concerned, it is acceptable, normal and wise, for people to be intentionally questioned, interviewed by several people at once, seeking advice from others, and investigated for compatibility for a job. Is that legalism? All of this is common for choosing an employee but not for choosing a lifelong spouse and future parent of your children? Think about that! This courtship process is no different and even more important! Finding and choosing someone to marry is the second most important decision a person will make in a lifetime, next to surrendering their life to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior for the forgiveness of sins and eternal life! Both decisions are to be made with the love, support, wisdom, counsel, the encouragement of parents, the Holy Spirit and the Lord! The fact that this person is even sitting at our table already has us asking; "Is this the one you have sent Lord?" We intentionally start praying for the spouses for each child when they are babies. Our five Littles already regularly pray for their spouses who are most likely already out there in the world somewhere. We already have these conversations with them at 5, 8 and 9 years old so this is not unexpected or a surprise. We are sincerely preparing and seeking wisdom and not judging or condemning the person in this process. Not only are we trying to ensure the right choice in a spouse, but this is our first opportunity to also protect and care for our grandchildren. The Lord gives us a multi-generational command to carry on the faith of our forefathers throughout the generations. We are commanded to be influential in the lives of our children and grandchildren. We are looking at the entire picture of our family heritage and responsibilities and not just that two people are attracted to each other and want to have fun!

So, all this to say, we are far from perfect people and know there are no guarantees in life. However, we stand on the Word of truth and seek to obey the Lord in His statutes and precepts. He doesn't leave us here on earth to fend for ourselves to try to figure things out alone. He is the one and only most high, loving God who cares for each one of His children and He has a plan and purpose for everyone. He gives wisdom through His Word and is always by our side with love to encourage us in every good and perfect work. He always uses His saints to work in each other’s lives, we are not meant to navigate life on our own! All we have to do is choose to come under His authority and let Him walk us through every minute of every day in every decision and situation. He is faithful to those who love Him and call on HIS name as Savior!

These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, ² so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. ³ Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. ^{[a] 5} Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

¹⁰ When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, ¹¹ houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, ¹² be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

¹³ Fear the Lord your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. ¹⁴ Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; ¹⁵ for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. ¹⁶ Do not put the Lord your God to the test as you did at Massah. ¹⁷ Be sure to keep the commands of the Lord your God and the stipulations and decrees he has given you. ¹⁸ Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors, ¹⁹ thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the Lord said.

²⁰ In the future, when your son asks you, “What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the Lord our God has commanded you?” ²¹ tell him: “We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. ²² Before our eyes the Lord sent signs and wonders—great and terrible—on Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. ²³ But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land he promised on oath to our ancestors. ²⁴ The Lord commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the Lord our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. ²⁵ And if we are careful to obey all this law before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness.” Deuteronomy 6 NIV

Like the people who were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, the Lord brought me out of slavery to sin and living by the world's standards. He has given me new life with the forgiveness of my sins, eternal life in heaven and the Holy Scripture to transform and renew my mind and give me strength and guidance, while still here on earth. I /we are choosing to do things differently with our children with the intention to bless them all the days of their lives with wisdom, joy, peace, love, good health and righteousness. Their lives, their bodies, their children and grandchildren, and everything in their future belong to Jesus Christ. Long after we are gone from this earth, they will have to make decisions for themselves and their own children. Our prayer is that they will always love the Lord Jesus Christ, seek the truth of the scriptures and His will and will intentionally and successfully pass on the faith to their children and all who come in contact with them until He calls them all home!