Then Jesus came to them and said; "ALL AUTHORITY IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME. THEREFORE, GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF ALL NATIONS, BAPTIZING THEM IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND OF THE SON AND OFTHE HOLY SPIRIT, AND TEACHING THEM TO OBEY EVERYTHING I HAVE COMMANDED YOU. AND SURELY I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, TO THE VERY END OF THE AGE."
So I have had another season of being by myself with our 5 littles. Jerry was in CA working for 10 days, Ellie was in Guatemala working an the Aqua Viva orphanage. Then they came home and Ellie left for another week to go to the Precepts Boot Camp in Chatanooga, TN. This is a week long intensive bible study camp run by Kay Arthur and the Precepts Ministries. During this time, I also had my precious grandson Vaden Elliot. So, never in my life have I had 6 children under 6 years old solely depending on me for all their needs to be met. Yes, I was very nervous and asking God; "WHY, Lord, Why are you giving me this responsibility in this season of my life?
I remember when I had only Melissa, one child for seven years and I thought that was a hard job. Of course, I was also working in the corporate world full time, I had a live in Nanny-housekeeper--cook and a gardener who cared for the yard. And I thought life was so hard??? Then I became a stay at home Mom when Jonathan was born. I had a precious little boy who was so easy and I had a 7yr old in private Christian school. Then the Lord gave us Ellie Marie 3 years later and moved us to NC when she was 11 months old. I had Melissa in public school, started homeschooling Jonathan & Ellie, no more housekeeper, cook and gardener and I thought life was hard.
Then the Lord called us out in faith to adopt the twins Jeremiah & James who were 27 week preemies and very, very fragile. When we got home from the NIC unit with them they were hooked up to machines, we were going to Dr.'s at DUKE and in Raleigh every week to find all the "medical issues" they suspected them to have. Due to being preemies and a grade 3 brain bleed at birth,we were expecting sight and hearing loss, Cerebral Palsy, learning disabilities, etc. So we were on a new journey of Dr.'s visits and keeping them quaranteened for the first year of life. All this while homeschooling BJ and Ellie, keeping house, doing laundry, etc. and I thought life was so hard!
Then the Lord called us out in faith again to go to ETHIOPIA and adopt 3 more precious children under 3 years old. Not only did I always say I never wanted to go to Africa, but now he also took us to visit orphanages and made us SEE the ORPHAN CRISIS and experience HIS HEART AND PLAN FOR OUR LIVES IN A WHOLE NEW WAY!! He gave us the Kolfe boys orphanage, a speaking ministry and our precious SOLOMON TOO!
And I thought life was hard!
NOT ANY MORE!
As I was alone during these last few weeks, I have spent a bit of time praying and asking the Lord a lot of questions. I honestly have been crying out to him for wisdom to understand WHY HE IS DOING ALL OF THESE THINGS IN MY LIFE?? WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME ALONE SO MUCH THIS SUMMER WITH ALL OF THESE KIDS??? THIS IS HARD!
I have been praying that the family wouldn't come home and find me in the closet chattering my teeth!! Or to find the kids in the closet because of the crazy MAMA caring for them?? I want my children to grow up with happy memories! You now they all grow up and they all remember what life was like!! Nothing is hidden, there are no secrets...So, I have been praying for JOY, JOY, JOY; PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE, AND FOR MY SAVIOR TO BE WITH ME EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY TO GUIDE ME AND PROTECT AND TO GIVE US MORE OF HIM!!
As I was looking out my kitchen window, while cleaning up the final meal of the day, all the kids were in bed,and I was just asking HIM to speak to me again to assure me that HE was there and I was in HIS will. And this is what he has whispered in my into my heart through my devotions and reading HIS WORD....
"Eileen, do you love me?? Then feed my sheep! Eileen, do you love me?? Then feed my sheep!! Eileen, do you love me?? Then take care of my sheep!! I gave you these precious children to care for in MY NAME! This is from me, they are MINE!! I have just given you the responsibility to care for their needs, feed them, cloth them, bath them, laugh with them, teach them, love them, discipline them, all in my name! You are my representative...I want them to SEE ME, KNOW ME, and grow to LOVE ME!! This is all about ME not YOU!! You are my servant whom I have entrusted these precious souls to for such a time as this. This is not too hard for you!! I have prepared and equipped you and this is between ME & YOU! I have also given Solomon to you and we are just beginning with him. TRUST ME!! WAIT ON ME! DO NOT BE AFRAID""!
Now I am not claiming to have "arrived" or to have "perfected" anything. But, I have a new understanding and a renewed sense of JOY! I am SERVING MY HEAVENLY FATHER, MY SAVIOR, MY ROCK, MY EVERY REASON FOR LIVING, THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, by caring for the precious children HE HAS ENTRUSTED TO ME. This is my calling, this is my gift, this is my blessing and I desire to serve HIM with GRATITUDE AND JOY!
After all, I didn't have to hang on the cross and have nails pierced through my hands and feet with a crown of thorns dug into my head. I did not suffer the beating and ripping off of my flesh, being spit on and ridiculed, stripped naked in front of the multitudes, hated and screamed at by the multitudes of people to be crucified while being innocent of any crime, to sweat drops of blood, to have suffered more than any human being on this earth!! No, my life is not hard!