After posting the announcement of the official courtship of my daughter Ellie and Jonathan,
there were so many requests for a copy of my courtship questions that I decided
to write this post. I pray it will be a blessing to you. I do not claim to have
all the answers, or that these questions will result in a perfect relationship.
However, I do believe this to be the best way to encourage and help my children
go through the process of finding their soul mate for this life. I have prayed
and spent many hours going through this process and so far have had absolutely
wonderful results. So here goes.......
When I was growing up, it was common for dating to start at middle or high
school age. The purpose is to gain relationship experience with the hope of one
day finding prince charming and to be married for a lifetime! I never learned
anything in advance about dating, nor was I given specifics on how to do it.
All I knew was there would be one-on-one dates to the movies, restaurants,
concerts, etc. and hanging out with friends. Parents and family were never
involved. Although it was still not acceptable to have sex before
marriage, I knew everyone was doing it anyway. It was common to date many
people in search of that special someone which in reality is training in how to
break up/divorce from relationships. As I got older, it became more
common to engage in all facets of the "married life" like having sex
and living together, without committing to marriage. It was better to test
everything out first. While divorce was not as common and even considered
shameful back then it is quite different now. Since then, the divorce and
abortion rates have risen higher then any other time in history, and many
hearts and lives have been broken and devastated. When compared to the history
of courtship, chaperones and purity until marriage, it has become evident that
the choice to live by the world's view of free-spirit dating has
devastated our culture.
My own high school dating experience was the worst thing that ever happened
to me! While I didn't start dating until sophomore year of high school, I was
truly seeking to find that one special guy for a lifetime and wanted to stay
pure until marriage. I was not raised in a Christian home, and had no knowledge
of courtship, or involvement and supervision of my parents, so I dated the
world's way. I fell in love with my one and only high school sweetheart.
He was popular, the most handsome guy in the school and he intentionally sought
me out! He would be waiting at my locker to talk to me and just seemed to be
where ever I was. He told me I was pretty, he knew I was a good girl and he
wanted to be my boyfriend! He made me feel special because he wanted to be with
me when he clearly could have any girl in the school. I knew nothing about
dating and my parents pretty much had a hands-off mentality about it. All the
cool people had a boyfriend in high school so it was normal to respond and
allow his wooing and pursuing. I soon learned the truth that I entered
the world of pain, suffering, rejection, lies, shame and regrets that would be
with me forever!
I fell in love thinking we were going to be married. After two years of
investing our lives together we got pre-engaged (which was common back then)
and I was dreaming of my wedding day right after high school graduation.
Since I "knew" we were getting married, I fell into the temptation
and lies that it was okay to give my virginity to him before marriage. It
wasn't long after that he began to change. He started to hang out more with his
friends instead of me and then after some time I found out he was actually
dating other girls behind my back. Then the most horrible and devastating thing
happened....I got pregnant! My worst nightmare came true. While I wanted to get
married and start our life together, he didn't! I knew he was not the man I
should marry. He was very emotionally abusive to me and he had a lot of anger
stemming from his parents divorce. He told me I had to get an abortion
and I knew that he wanted to break off our relationship. During my entire
childhood my mother had always told me that if I ever got pregnant out of
wedlock, I should have an abortion so that it didn't ruin my life. I should
never get married because "we had too!" A "shot gun wedding"
as she put it, was the worst thing you could do to yourself. So between my
mother's training and my boyfriend demanding, I had an abortion. In my heart, I
wanted to keep my baby that was conceived in love, on my part anyway. Although
I was not raised in a Christian home and didn't know God's Word, deep down in
my heart I knew it was wrong. But, I felt like I had no choice and I believed
that it was just a mass of tissue, as was taught in health class throughout my
childhood education. In spite of that, I always had a deep and heavy pain and
sadness in my heart that never went away. I felt guilt, shame, anger, betrayal,
and heartache like I have never felt. I wondered if I did the right thing even
though everyone said I did. I always wished I could go back for a do over. I would
have never started dating him and would never have had sex before marriage. But
now, I had to live with myself and the consequences of my choices! I honestly
never thought this would happen to me! I was the good girl who was going to
wait for marriage! I learned first hand how easy it is to fall into temptation
with a life of regret and wrong choices!
When I became a Christian years later, while reading the bible, I read
Psalm
139:13-16; "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame
was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I
was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw
my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your
book before one of them came to be."
For the first time, I understood the truth of God's creation and realized
that I was a "murderer!" I killed my first baby that God created in
my womb. I cried for days and days and poured out my heart to my Savior Jesus
Christ. I was overwhelmed with guilt and shame and I wanted to die! But as He
always promises, My Savior poured His grace over me and filled my heart with
the cleansing blood of forgiveness. He whispered to me that I was forgiven
because He laid down His own life to take the punishment for my sin of murder.
He then reminded me that David and Moses also committed murder and because of
His forgiveness, He was able to use their lives for His glory and purpose in
spite of what they did! This brought great comfort and healing to my life but
it never took away the regret and sadness that I still feel today!
Because of this, I have determined to do everything in my power to teach and
equip my children to walk through their lives with wisdom, discernment and to
intentionally build hedges of protection from falling into the same pitfalls
that I did. I know hundreds of stories from friends and family members that
have the same testimony as mine and I have determined to make a difference in
the lives of my children if they so choose to let me!
I first learned about the courtship process from Dr. Dobson's "Focus on
the Family" radio broadcasts when Melissa was about five years old. I have
since read as much as possible and prayed for the Lord to give us wisdom on
training our children for purity and righteousness in pursuing their lifelong
mate. We have discussed and taught/teach them that the Lord has a plan and
purpose for them and He already knows who the spouse he created for them will
be. Therefore, we need to pray constantly and be intentional to wait and
discern who that mate is when the time is right! The right time is when they
are mature enough to take on the responsibility of being a spouse and parent! I
don't have an exact age in mind, but rather have intentionally and
conscientiously trained my children to be ready by the time they want to leave
the comforts of our nest.
Because of my and my husband’s personal experiences, much study and
prayer, together we have chosen the "Biblical Courtship" method of
pursuing a spouse for our children. We have discussed this in detail with
all of them and agreed this is a personal choice they have to make, we do not
force them. We have had the experience of our children starting in relationships either without
our intentional involvement or without going through the intentional nature of
our questions and they were not successful. Unfortunately, they had to go through the always-painful experience of a break-up. Since then, we have comprised
our own "Courtship" plan of intentional involvement and questioning
starting at the very first contact with a potential person of interest. All
three of our oldest children have since agreed to follow this method from then
on and we are praying the five littles will as well! They are getting a first
hand preview and are already involved in this process which should be helpful
to them in the future.
Our purpose and prayer is not to control our children, but rather to come
along side to encourage and guide them to make wise and discerning choices. The
scriptures tell us to seek wisdom from many counselors and to learn from the
history of others who have gone before us. We want all of our children to have
the best outcome in their lives and to avoid sin, pain and heart ache as much
as possible. Our prayer is to also protect the other person involved as well.
By being intentional from day one, we can help determine compatibility between
two people that are obviously attracted to each other. Marriage is a serious
covenant before God that is not to be taken lightly. It is hard! It is two
sinners coming together in a commitment for life! When the honeymoon and
newness wears off, there has to be a strong foundation for marriage to stand
strong and to glorify the Lord. In everything we do, we seek to glorify him and
love others well.
To begin, we don't date! We intentionally start the process of getting to know
a person for the purpose and plan of marriage. If not ready for and
intentionally seeking marriage, there is no need to even start getting to
know a person on an intimate level. Once you do intentionally get to know
a person intimately, it doesn't take long to know if "He/She" is the
one. We also are very intentional to pray to God for His leading and
discernment. God is faithful to give wisdom and discernment when we
intentionally seek HIM! "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you
great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3
We start the process by first "Calling the father of the other person
to ask his permission to get to know each other for the purpose of
marriage!" We clearly communicate that we do not date! The father then has
the right to question and interview the person calling. He will then privately
speak to the child being pursued to see if they are interested in pursuing this
person for marriage. If not, the father calls back to tell the person there is
no interest and wish them well. End of possibility of anything other than
platonic friendship. This protects my child from being in the position of
hurting someone’s feelings or leaving room for discussion. If it is a
"Yes, I am interested in getting to know this person more
intimately," then we start the open lines of communication. We have
the person over for dinner and fellowship and then the meetings begin! We
communicate to the other person that we will begin a series of discussions with
the list of questions we have compiled for the purpose of redeeming time and
energy in a relationship that may not necessary. It also protects
both hearts from getting attached too soon, only to be torn apart if it is
discovered that there is no compatibility later on. Again, the other
person has to make the choice to participate or not. If not, that is the end of
the possibility of a relationship. That settles things quickly! It's all about
redeeming time and protecting hearts! However, if the other person agrees, we
begin a fun time of intentionally getting to know each other on a personal and
intimate level and have a lot of laughs along the way. Just by agreeing
to this process shows integrity, intentionality and character of the other
person! I have comprised a list of questions that are very intentional,
revealing, very personal and some even embarrassing. At first, I wasn't sure
about some of them, but then I realized that nothing is off limits, or too
personal when you are considering giving and spending the rest of your life
with this person. It is a huge responsibility that I do not take lightly to be
giving the child the Lord has entrusted to my care, to another person for a
lifetime of service! This is also going to be the father/mother of my
grandchildren and this is my first opportunity to love, protect and care for
them as well. God gives us a multi-generational command to train our children
and grandchildren to know Him! These questions come from personal experience as
well as learning from other people’s experiences. They are specifically geared
to our family's preferences and traditions but can easily be modified to your
own. It is true that when you marry someone, you marry the family too! It is
important that when two people come together they are compatible and able to
prosper and grow and not stifle or dominate one another. We believe marriage is
really another form of adoption. You become a member of that family for a
lifetime! So, it is important that you are compatible and comfortable with the
whole package and not just the individual person. If we do it right, we don't
lose our children but rather gain another member of the family!
We have had great success with this process so far and desire to share this
with you for the purpose of encouragement. I dedicate this to those who are
seeking to love well, be a good steward to redeem the time, protect hearts and
lives, and glorify the Lord in the process. I pray you will find this helpful
and ponder how you can take an intentional role in the lives of your children
as you seek to equip them for every good and perfect work and gift from above.
The Lord desires that we walk in truth and righteous, being holy as he is holy.
The process we have established begins with the four of us at the kitchen table
with refreshments, we open in prayer and then Jerry and I lead with questions.
We give both parties the opportunity to answer and ask questions of each other
with the other party always giving the answer first. (Not giving opportunity to
just agree with our answers!)We ask permission to take notes and give
permission as well. If at any time there is resistance to answering a
question...red flag! We always give the freedom to end the process at any time
with the option to continue another day or to end it period. Again, this
redeems the time invested and reveals things. When it comes to the questions
about sex and other personal things, we do give the option for our child to
leave and we discuss these issues privately so as not to cause inappropriate
situations. This process takes a long time with several visits that require
priority of time. But, I assure you it is well worth it! It is a blessing to
see someone be transparent and willing to make sacrifices to get to know your
child. It requires integrity, perseverance, humility, and a true desire to know
you and your family. If done right, you end up becoming friends who know each
other well!
As a result of this process, we have been blessed to hear, "I would
have never had the nerve to ask those questions but because you did, I learned
a lot about this person." "I am able to really know if I want to
continue or not now." "It is encouraging that this person is still
here after the questions last time. He/she must be serious." "It
would have taken months or years to get to know this person so intimately if
not for this intentional discussion time." "Regardless of the outcome
of this particular person and me, when I have children, I want to do this
process with them too!" "Thank you for taking the time to do this
with me. I feel very loved and protected!" "This is exactly what I
prayed for, to get to know someone in the context of the family." I feel
safe and comfortable with this person now!"
After completing the questions with us, we then encourage meeting the other
family and offer the questions for their family to go through. We now allow
them to spend quality time together, to continue to get to know each other with
intentional hedges of protection from temptation, with a plan for
marriage. We don't believe in long engagements after going through this process
because when you are already seeking marriage and know that this is the
one, it is not necessary to wait. This also helps reduce the battle with
temptation and makes for a wonderful honeymoon! While we have no guarantees in
this life, we do believe this process does establish a good foundation to build
on. We continue to have intentional discussions with each other and pray
and seek the Lord's wisdom and will for each party. And then, when it is clear
that they can not live without each other, we plan the wedding and celebrate
the covenant of marriage! And we are blessed to "KNOW" and
"LOVE" our new son/daughter!
SO HERE ARE MY 256 QUESTIONS:
COURTSHIP QUESTIONS
By
Eileen Mestas 2/23/06
1. What is your life’s goal, mission?
2. What is your passion?
3. What career / education/ hobby/ministry/ goals and
experience do you have and why did you choose them?
4. What were your favorite subjects in school? Why?
5. What was your least favorite subject?
6. Who was your favorite teacher and why?
7. Do you like art?
8. Describe your gifts – talents and how you demonstrate
them.
9. What do you consider to be your greatest strengths?
10.
What do you consider to be your greatest
weaknesses?
11.
Why has God put you here on planet
earth?
12.
Do you “THIRST” for God?
13.
Do you read the bible regularly?
14.
What bible studies have you done
and do you have a preferred method of study?
15.
What is your favorite book of the
bible, verse, story, hymn and why?
16.
Describe a time when God’s word
spoke directly to you.
17.
Are you governed increasingly by
God’s word?
18.
Share your testimony of how you
became a Christian.
19.
How would you describe your
spiritual growth now compared to 2-3-5 years ago?
20.
Are you sensitive to God’s presence
in your life?
21.
Describe a particular time you have
SEEN God in your life.
22.
Describe the Holy Spirit and how He
impacts your life.
23.
How often do you pray?
24.
Do you ask for prayer from others?
Who and how often?
25.
What have you done to establish
accountability?
26.
Do you have a growing concern for
the spiritual and temporal needs of others?
27.
Are you a servant to others? If so,
how?
28.
Do you delight in the “Bride of
Christ”, the church?
29.
Are you a member of a Church?
30.
How do you serve in your church?
31.
Do you fellowship with people/families
from your church?
32.
Are spiritual disciplines
increasingly important to you?
33.
On what foundation is your life’s
compass based, how do you make decisions, etc?
34.
Where do you plan to be in 5- 10
years; describe your plan of action. (Spiritually-- Career-- Family etc.)
35.
Are you engaged in things now
that are going to bring you closer to God?
36.
Describe your relationship with
your family, parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents, etc.
37.
Describe your relationship
with friends, best friend how long, etc.
38.
Do your parents have best
friends? Practice hospitality in your home?
39.
Describe your family. How
many siblings, cousins, etc.
40.
Do you think a man can be
best friends with a woman? Before and after marriage? (Other than/in addition
to wife)
41.
Do you have friends/family of
various ethnic backgrounds?
42.
What do you think about
bi-racial families?
43.
What does your family think
about bi-racial families?
44.
Do you speak another
language?
45.
What is your ethnic back
ground?
46.
Do you have pets?
47.
Do you prefer dogs or cats?
48.
Describe your communication
style.
49.
Are you shy? Outgoing?
50.
When at a party are you in
the middle of the action or a bystander?
51.
Describe integrity.
52.
Describe honesty.
53.
Who do you strive to please
and why?
54.
Who is your biggest cheer
leader/encourager?
55.
Who or what is your greatest
frustration?
56.
Describe your philosophy on dating,
courtship?
57.
Describe the role of family,
friends, etc. in this process.
58.
Do you think physical touch
i.e. Holding hands, kissing, etc. is appropriate and at what point in the
courtship process?
59.
What do you think of waiting until your
engagement/wedding day to kiss?
60.
What is an appropriate time
frame for courtship -- engagement process?
61.
How do you think you will know
if this is the girl for you and if not, how do you intend to handle that?
62.
Describe your plan of action
to protect her heart and yours from being broken.
63.
Describe your plan of
protection from physical temptations.
64.
By what authority do you base
your decision to move to the next level or not in this process? i.e., Who will
counsel and encourage you?
65.
How are you preparing to be
the spiritual leader of your home; wife & children?
66.
Are you ready for that
responsibility now?
67.
What is your plan of action to grow
and how can you improve?
68.
How do you see your role as a
husband?
69.
How do you see the responsibilities
of daily chores being played out? i.e., cleaning, cooking, yard work,
gardening, trash, laundry, paying bills, food shopping, fix it maintenance,
etc.
70.
Describe your family routines
growing up. i.e. mom vs. dad, siblings’ responsibilities, etc.
71.
Are you organized or a messy?
72.
If I go into your car/truck
right now will I need a trash bag? How often do you wash it?
73.
How often do you change/wash
your bed sheets, clean your bathroom, floors, etc?
74.
Do hang your clothes up in
the closet/put in drawers?
75.
Where do you put your dirty
laundry?
76.
Do you iron your clothes?
77.
When do you shower?
a.m. or p.m.
78.
Do you visit the DDS
regularly and how often do you floss?
79.
Describe your happiest
memory.
80.
What is your saddest memory
that you feel you could share?
81.
Have you had previous
relationships? How did you handle them, how long, etc.? Tell us about it.
82.
How do you handle conflict?
83.
Are you a stuffer or a
talker? (Grab by the horns, sweep under the rug)
84.
In previous relationships did
you initiate and pursue or did the other person?
85.
Did you remain pure in those
relationships?
86.
If not, did you use birth
control? Any pregnancy?
87.
What is your relationship
with that person today?
88.
Is there unforgiveness or
anger as a result of that relationship?
89.
How are you different today
as a result of those relationships?
90.
What is the greatest lesson
learned?
91.
How long since your last
relationship with someone?
92.
Are you content to be
alone/single?
93.
How much time do you spend on
the computer/cell/texting/ what exposure--practice of watching pornography?
94.
Do you need to have your
phone w/you at all times to check Facebook, etc.?
95.
How are you dealing with
temptation/pornography?
96.
What are you doing to guard
yourself, eyes, ears, heart?
97.
Do you have a
filter/accountability on your computer/telephone/TV?
98.
How do you address this
situation with friends, others?
99.
Do you initiate
accountability for their concern and ask them how they are doing?
100.
What do you think of cursing/ course
joking?
101.
Do you practice that behavior?
102.
Do you watch “R+” rated movies?
103.
What does scripture teach on this topic?
104.
If a friend invites you to watch
something inappropriate what do you do?
105.
Describe your relationship with your
mother.
106.
Describe your relationship with your
father.
107.
How do you see your role as a father?
(Duties, responsibilities, diapers, feeding, etc.)
108.
Describe your childhood.
109.
Describe your relationship with your
siblings.
110.
Describe your favorite memory with your
dad/ mom.
111.
What is your least favorite memory with
your dad/mom?
112.
Describe your communication style in your
family.
113.
What word best describes your childhood?
114.
How many children would you like to have?
115.
Do you plan to use birth control?
116.
What if your wife wants more or fewer
than you?
117.
What if you are not able to have children
biologically?
118.
What is your philosophy for discipline of
children?
119.
What do you think of adoption?
120.
What kind of education do you plan for
your children, home school, government or private school? Why?
121.
What books have you read and what is your
favorite?
122.
How have you prepared /Are you currently
intentionally preparing yourself for marriage?
123.
What do you think of divorce?
124.
What does scripture say about divorce?
125.
Describe your expectations for the role
of your wife? i.e., Working, parenting, chores, responsibilities, education,
cooking, baking, etc.
126.
What is your favorite food? Dessert?
Candy? Drink?
127.
Do you eat cheese? Vegetables? Cake?
Cookies?
128.
What is your least favorite food?
129.
How do you feel about tasting food you
have never had?
130.
Describe your thoughts on drinking wine,
beer, alcohol?
131.
Do you drink socially, privately,
occasionally, etc.?
132.
What does scripture teach on this topic?
133.
Have you ever been intoxicated? When and
why?
134.
Does your family drink?
135.
Have you ever taken drugs, pot, etc.?
136.
Do you take vitamins, medications?
137.
Do you have allergies, or health issues?
138.
What is your favorite movie, TV show,
book and why?
139.
Is there any kind of store you could get
lost in, because you love so much of what they sell?
140.
Are you a procrastinator or a doer?
141.
Describe your favorite vacation.
142.
Describe your dream vacation as a single
man, a married man, and father.
143.
Do you like camping? Hotels?
Resorts? Cruises? Boating? Fishing? Hunting?
144.
Do you own a gun? If so, what kind? Why?
145.
Have you ever been to the Biltmore? Did
you like it? Do you desire to visit?
146.
Have you been to Disney and do you desire
to go?
147.
Do you like the beach? Mountains?
148.
What is your favorite season and why?
149.
Do you swim?
150.
Describe sports you have played and which
is your favorite?
151.
How much time do you devote to sports?
152.
How much time do you devote to watching
sports on TV? Going to sporting events? Playing sports now?
153.
Describe your travel experiences.
154.
Which was your favorite?
155.
Where is your dream to visit?
156.
Where would you never want to visit?
157.
Where would you like to live and why?
158.
Have you done missions trips? With who,
where, what did you do?
159.
How has your life been impacted by your
missions work?
160.
Where is your mission field now?
161.
Describe a perfect day…
162.
What do you fear?
163.
What is your greatest accomplishment?
164.
What is your greatest regret?
165.
What are your pet peeves?
166.
What is your unfulfilled dream?
167.
How do you spend your time? Describe a
typical week day vs. weekend.
168.
Do you live intentionally or fly by the
seat of your pants?
169.
Are you a planner?
170.
What is on your list of things to do now?
171.
Describe joy and peace. Do you have it in
your life?
172.
When faced with a problem/crisis, where
do you go for help?
173.
What is your decorative style? Color or
white? Rustic or Classic, traditional or trendy?
174.
What is your favorite color?
175.
What do you think of flowers?
176.
Why did God create them?
177.
Describe your dream house? Garden?
178.
What kind of car/truck do you prefer?
Why?
179.
Have you ever taken a personality test?
If so, which one? What were the results?
180.
What makes you angry?
181.
How do you process that anger? Are you a
screamer? Temper tantrums?
182.
Tell me about a tough decision you had to
make.
183.
What is the hardest decision you ever had
to make?
184.
What kind of music do you like?
185.
Do you dance? Sing?
186.
Do you play an instrument?
187.
Do you like the theater? Opera? Broadway?
188.
What do you like to do for entertainment?
189.
Do you like to host parties?
190.
Describe your birthday
celebrations/traditions.
191.
What was your favorite birthday and why?
192.
Describe your relationship with
neighbors.
193.
How long have you lived in your
home/town, etc.?
194.
What kind of work does your
father/mother, grandparents, siblings, do?
195.
Do you have nieces, nephews?
196.
Describe your relationship with them.
197.
When you see trash on the ground, do you
pick it up or ignore it?
198.
Where do you put your trash when out in
public? What if there is no trash can?
199.
How would you describe your reputation
according to others?
200.
Who would you give for a reference and
why? Will you give me their telephone number?
201.
What role will friends play in your life
after marriage? Your wife’s friends?
202.
Is adoption an option in your future?
203.
What do you think about day care?
Babysitters? Sleepovers?
204.
Do you have a mentor?
205.
Who is your best friend? Why? How long?
206.
What are your favorite ministries and
why?
207.
Do you support them?
208.
Do you tithe?
209.
Do you budget? Save? Plan for your
future?
210.
Are you a spender or saver?
211.
Are you a gift giver?
212.
Are you an impulse buyer or over-think a
purchase?
213.
Do you think it is appropriate for you or
your wife to make a purchase without consulting the other?
214.
Do you plan to have one or separate bank
accounts?
215.
Describe your world view. Political and
Social
216.
Who did you vote for in the last election
and why?
217.
What is your opinion on the sanctity of
life?
218.
Is there ever an appropriate time to end
someone’s life?
219.
Did you ever go to camp? Describe.
220.
Are you a man of your word?
221.
What do you think about being late to an
appointment?
222.
What do you think of lying? When is it
appropriate?
223.
What do think of air conditioning/heat
usage in your home?
224.
How do you plan to train your children
with two different cultures/backgrounds? One dominating the other?
225.
Do you want your children to speak Spanish?
226.
Would you be willing to relocate for your
wife’s preferences?
227.
What is the order of priority in your
life? Work, Ministry, Husband, Father, Church, etc. Which comes first…last?
228.
What does scripture teach on this
subject?
229.
Would you consider taking a relative in
to live with you if necessary?
230.
Will your home be the “hang out” for your
children or do you prefer they go to other places?
231.
Describe your expectations/hopes for your
daughter? Education? Dating? Etc.
232.
Describe your expectation/hopes for your
son? Education? Dating? Etc.
233.
What is your plan for housing in your
future? Rural/urban? Farm/Community
234.
How do you plan to keep your marriage
alive and vibrant?
235.
What travel plans do you have for your
future/children etc.?
236.
Have you ever witnessed a miracle?
237.
What are your wedding—honeymoon
expectations? Big, small/local/weekend/week?
238.
Who are your heroes? Why?
239.
When you die, what do you want your
legacy to be? He was …..
240.
What do you think about death? Fear?
Peace? Are you ready?
241.
How would you respond to the death of
child, wife, and parent?
242.
Will you ever consider living w/your
parents or in-laws?
243.
What is the nicest thing someone has done
for you?
244.
What is the nicest thing you have done
for someone else?
245.
Describe some recent fruit in your life.
246.
Do you have debt?
247.
What is your philosophy on debt, credit
cards?
248.
Do you have a savings account, emergency
fund?
249.
How are you preparing for your future,
i.e. buying house, etc?
250.
Where do you want to live?
251.
Why are you interested in my
daughter/son?
252.
What is on your bucket list?
253.
Now that we have gone through these
questions, what do you think of this process?
254.
Are you willing to proceed with this
courtship?
255.
Do you have any questions for us or
anything to add?
256.
Thank you for taking the time and going
through this process with us!
At the conclusion of discussing all these questions, we privately discuss the
answers given and any concerns we may have with our child. Then if we all
approve and our child chooses to move forward, we initiate and announce an
"official courtship" and proceed with prayer, counsel, caution and
excitement!
